From Greenhills to Katipunan
27 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Development Issues, Life, TV & Movies
Today I had the most heartwarming moment of my week. On my way home from Greenhills, I rode a cab whose driver was one of the sweetest I have ever met. The driver, Tatay Mario, was a cheerful 60-year old father and we talked about his children and how hard it is now to send one’s children to college.
I am not a very emotional person and my friends know this, but I have a soft spot for children and for the elderly. I especially have a soft spot for grandparents who are still taking up difficult jobs despite their age. Everytime I see people like them, it melts my heart instantly because I feel like at that age, they should already be reaping the benefits of this wonderful world instead of suffering from the circumstances they faced in life.
Tatay Mario was just laid off from his job as a factory worker, and now he is working as a cab driver. He works til twelve midnight everyday so he could send his youngest son to college. His son is a Hotel and Restaurant Management student who is now in his third year in college. Tatay Mario told me the story of how he didn’t expect HRM to be so expensive, what with all the projects and all the things they have to pay for to finish the course – from tuition fees, to uniforms, to the ingredients of the recipes they cook for their classes. He told me how he had to spend almost all of his separation pay so his son could finish all the requirements for his course. However, despite this, Tatay Mario’s eyes lit up as he recounted how his son would cook delicious meals at home for them, and how he hopes his son could finish college so he could pursue his dream.
I know we’ve all heard this story so many times, but I just had one of the saddest weeks of my life and this night is possibly the most hopeful I have felt this week. It sounds like a cliche but it is true that sometimes we think life couldn’t get worse, but the truth is we already have so much to be thankful for. I just came from Greenhills to accompany my cousin in selling her iPhone which she doesn’t use anyway, and here is a man whose separation pay was just worth a few iPhones and yet that same amount already helped his family in a way no iPhone could have possibly changed my cousin’s life.
What touched me most about Tatay Mario’s story is how it depicts parents’ love for their children. All over the world, parents give up their own happiness for their children’s on a daily basis. I’ve seen this love from my parents, from my titos and titas, from my friends’ parents, from the parents I meet randomly in my travels, and actually from almost all the parents I have met. Especially here in the Philippines, most parents would give up the security of their own future for the security of their children’s future. A classic example would be Tatay Mario who, instead of just saving up his separation pay for his own retirement, would use it to send his children to college instead. When I think about it, it is love in its purest form, and yet it is also sad that sacrifices such as these have to be made. And I guess one of my dreams for the Philippines is that one day parents wouldn’t have to give up their own future for their children, not because they don’t love them anymore, but because they won’t have to. That one day we would be stable enough to secure our people’s future, especially those like Tatay Mario who have done nothing else but work hard their entire lives.
Another thing that touched me about this situation is how I felt Tatay Mario’s motivation to keep fighting, not for himself, but for his family. I’ve been thinking about this precise topic recently: it must feel good to have something to live for. I am a development worker and a lot of people would say that I already am living for something – that “something” being our country’s future, etc. etc. But the truth is, development work, as much as it is romanticized by most people, is not at all as heroic as it sounds. At least not for me. I don’t have that feeling that if I die now, it would be a great loss in the world. This feeling was summarized by Julie Delpy in one of my favorite movies, Before Sunset. According to her:
“In my field I see those people that come into it with big idealist visions of becoming the new leader that will create a better world. They enjoy the goal but not the process. But the reality of it is that the true work of improving things is in the little achievements of the day. And that’s what you need to enjoy.”
Development work as I have experienced it, is not at all about big dreams of changing the world. Little by little, yes, but when you are already in it, it does not feel as grand and exciting. In fact progress can be excruciatingly slow, with regular moments of disillusionment. There is still that feeling of passion, yes, but not the kind of fire that would light up the entire world. No, in fact if I would describe the passion, it is a low fire – burning only a little most of the time, sometimes really bright, sometimes so low you can barely feel it, but always constantly there somewhere.
The truth is, as a development worker you also get sucked in by the realities of life – bills to pay, personal problems to worry about, etc. etc. that I have never met a development worker whose entire life is dedicated only to “changing the world”. As a development worker, it is also easy to forget that you are there for a purpose. But every once in a while you meet people like Tatay Mario who shake you out of your own worries, who show you that you are blessed and that there is nothing else you should do with those blessings but to share them. And that maybe, just maybe, there IS something worth living for in this world.
